Why?

We've been suffering from the Whys for a while, I think Squeaky picked them up in nursery, much the same as the Chicken Pops.  Whys are extremely contagious, once one child has contracted the Whys, they will spread it to all their friends, acquaintances, and even other children that they just pass by from the comfort of a Tesco's trolley seat with remarkable efficiency.

There is no known cure for the Whys.  Calpol can help to counter some of the more unpleasant aspects, but must be administered to the parent or carer, rather than the child. Gin is somewhat more effective, but must be taken with extreme care, or unintended side effects may include tears, headaches, and actually telling the child "why" in no uncertain terms.

On a more serious note, why (ha ha ha) do all our "Why?" conversations seem to end up in an unending cycle of "Why?", "I don't know", "Why?", "Because I'm not very clever", "Why?", "Because I didn't pay enough attention at school", "Why?" ad infinitum.  We spent our whole car journey home from nursery today discussing why my car was clean and daddy's car wasn't.  The reason being I went through the car wash over the weekend, and he didn't.  Why?  Because my car was dirty. Why? Because I hadn't washed it. Why? Because I was at work. Why? To earn money to buy you nice things. Why? Because otherwise you can't have nice things. Why? Because you have to pay for things. Why? Because otherwise that's stealing. Why? Because that's what it's called when you don't pay for something. Why? I don't know...  and the cycle begins.

If anyone has a surefire cure for the Whys that doesn't involve medicating one or other of us, I'd be really pleased to hear from you, and you could probably make your millions selling it.  Honestly, I would pay good money for a cure, and I'm sure I'm not alone in that.

ASDSFDASFDFSDFASF

No, it's ok. Squeaky isn't actually typing. She's too busy being naughty.

I went into the kitchen for 2 minutes this morning to make a coffee.  Came back into the living room to find someone looking very proud of herself, and a load of red wax crayon all over the wall. Pencil I could cope with, it rubs out, but wax crayon? ARGHGAHHHHASDASDFHG!

We're trying to sell this house at the moment as well. So guess who had the paintbrush out at 7.30 this morning trying to cover up wax crayon?  I was too cross to take a picture, but I'm sure you know what a naughty toddler & a crayon covered wall look like.  It's going to take another coat to cover it as well.  Not a happy mummy today.

It's just a phase

Those must be the four most annoying words in parenting.  "It's just a phase". Teething?  It's just a phase.  Waking at 3 am? It's just a phase.  Separation anxiety? It's just a phase.

Squeaky's latest phase is "What's That?" Addressed to pretty much everything.  Constantly, repeatedly, and to things that she already knows exactly what they are. It's just a phase I really hope passes quickly, because there's only so many times I can tell her what the tap is before I'm going to go bonkers. It's a tap. It's a tap, it's a tap.  A tap, lovey. It's still a tap. It continues to be a tap. It's STILL the flipping tap, for goodness sake.

I swear, the next time someone says "it's just a phase" to me, I'm going to spend the next half hour saying "whassat?" to them without stopping for breath & see how they like the phase.

Please sir, can I have some more?

We're having a bit of a language explosion at the moment.  Squeaky is trying to copy all sorts of words (we had a couple of "pinky"s this evening watching In The Night Garden...), with varying degrees of success and appropriateness.  We're also getting lots of "door", "keys" and "juice". The girl knows what she wants.

There's a couple that she's properly mastered at the right times though.  And it's getting old, fast.  "Mine!" in relation to just about everything, from Daisy, via her drink, to my money.  I've tried arguing, but there's only so long you can spend on a conversation entirely consisting of "Mine!" "No, mine", "No, Mine!", "No, mine" before you just give up and let her have whatever's so important.  She usually loses interest in it then, anyway.

The other accurate word is "More!"  More drink, more chips, more dinner off my plate (it tastes better than hers), more CBeebies.  Generally More! That said, the fuss we've had with her eating, I'm not going to argue if she wants more.  We're not all Oliver Twist here, you know.

Oh yeah, there's one more word she started saying the other day.  I was having the sort of day where all I wanted to do was cry into my coffee cup and make the world go away.  Of course, that's the day Squeaky decides to start saying "DIE" to me.  In my face, repeatedly.  I know she doesn't understand it, and she doesn't mean it, but really, really not what I needed to hear.

Squeaky or Streaky?

This is a post that's been brewing for a while, it just didn't make it all the way to the keyboard.

What is it with toddlers and nudity?  Why do they feel the need to remove their clothes, and then their nappies, at the slightest hint of an opportunity?  And then run around the living room, bottom in the breeze, giggling like it's the funniest thing ever?  I really don't understand.

We'd been doing relatively well on this front until recently.  It was only the nappy that had to be removed.  OK she'd lift her dress or t-shirt to show off her Star-Bellied Sneetch style belly button, but generally clothes stayed where they were put.  Only now she's figured out removing normal trousers, and her yoga pants.  Which is obviously followed by taking off her nappy.  That leaves one pair of cropped trousers with a belt, and leggings safe from the irresistible urge to feel the wind on her cheeks.

I'm sure it's just a phase, and it only seems to happen at home (I've not yet had reports from the nursery that she's been stripping off there), but dear sweet deity, it's only got to happen once and I'll never be able to go to town again!



Squeaky's new soundtrack?

Splish Splash Splosh

Since we went on holiday, Squeaky's been a bit of a pain when it comes to water.  Baths, pools, anything that involves her getting wet.  Strange.  While we were away she was variable with the pool & the sea, one day she'd love it, the next you'd think we were killing her.  And the bath was a trauma every time, though I put that down to the hotel bath being slippy.

Well, when we got back, the bath was no better.  Absolute murders, so she'd have you believe. We gave the swimming a miss for a couple of weeks, partly because she had a bit of a dodgy tummy, and partly because I really couldn't face that level of screaming & misbehaving in front of people I know.

Well, anyway, last week we went back to the swimming group for the first time in a while, and whileshe wasn't exactly enthusiastic, she got on with it ok.  Today? Well, I don't know what's come over her.  Never mind getting on with it, today she was firmly in charge, and jumping in!  Seriously.  I sat her on the side, I was in the pool, to get her to splash her feet about, which she normally loves doing.  Instead of that, she decided she was going to jump (from sitting) in, without even holding on to my hands.  I caught her, and she did it again.  And again.  And again.  And if I kept her in the water, she'd try to climb out & jump in again.  Eventually she even went for jumping in from standing.

Clearly today she's decided to be a water baby.  What bathtime will be like, I dread to think!

Meet our friend, the whale!