It's Squeaky's first ever school play in a fortnight. And just like everything else school-related she's reluctant to tell me anything about it. At All. I think they must make them sign the Official Secrets Act when they start, either that or she's got a great future ahead of her as an international spy - MI5 wouldn't be able to get any information out of her, even under extreme tickling, she won't give an inch!
I know the play is nativity-ish, because we've got a cast list, so we know what costumes we need to supply for our budding Oscar winners. I can't help but feel a little sorry for the camels' parents, because that's really not an easy costume to rustle up at home from the contents of various wardrobes & dressing up boxes (though I have seen a few available online!). And I know the play is called "Jump If You Love Christmas", which sounds bizarre to say the least. "Sit Down If You Wish It Was January" for the Bah Humbugs in the audience, perhaps?
Well, La Squeak is an Innkeeper. Innkeeper 3 to be precise (that's the one with the stable, if you were wondering!) It's a role I remember playing myself in the dim & distant past, along with a gymnast (obviously at the nativity), the colour pink, and Mrs Red Hat from the Village With Three Corners. As you can tell, I've had a wide and varied theatrical career, sadly cut short at the point where it was discovered I had no acting talent whatsoever.
An Innkeeper though? What DOES an innkeeper actually wear? In the name of research, I paid a visit to our local, and discovered that an aging t-shirt from the brewery teamed with a pair of dubiously stained jeans, and a couple of tattoos seems to be a popular choice. I could probably manage that. Or there's the more famous options. Bald head, burgundy jacket & pint pot a la Al Murray? Leopard print, big hair, cleavage & too much make up in the style of Bet Lynch? Apparently these aren't ideal suggestions and are more likely to be met with a referral to social services than a standing ovation.
|A more appropriate Inn Keeper?|
Well, I was thinking aloud on twitter before I wrote this post, and the kind people at Angels Fancy Dress contacted me, and asked if I thought my readers would like a little offer? Well, of course you do. So, they've offered you all an amazing 10% off any item at Angels Fancy Dress - not just their Nativity Costumes. All you have to do is use the discount code SQUEAKY10 which is valid on online orders until 31st December. Perfect for your Christmas or New Year's parties as well! What are you waiting for?
Disclosure: This post was written without request. I have not received payment for this post. I asked whether the company would like to be linked in my post, and they offered a discount for readers. Links are provided for convenience, I will not receive reward for their use, nor use of the above discount code.