Daydreaming

Daydreaming is a lovely thing. Not necessarily the "what would I do if I won the lottery" type thoughts, though they do pass a happy few minutes waiting for a latte to cool down from the temperature of molten lava. More the kind of meanderings that end up as ridiculous action songs a la "If I was not in pantomime..." and finish up with someone getting hit over the head with a frying pan or tickled with a feather duster.

Ok, these often strike on a Monday morning, when I realise how much paperwork I need to get through, but it's either that or announcing to the office that today is officially Not Giving A Monkey's Day, and hitting the biscuit tin. But they also strike when there's nothing else doing, while sitting in the waiting room at the dentist, watching today's fifth episode of Sofia The First, that sort of thing.

I'd actually hate to not work, I need to have to do something in order to do anything. I couldn't quit tomorrow & be a full time mum, or a full time blogger, even if the money was there. I would end up doing the school run in my pyjamas, watching endless episodes of Jeremy Kyle, and growing another chin.

Instead, I've taken to wondering what it would be like to be someone else. Or something else! Some days I think I'd quite like to be a cat, lazing in a sunbeam and demanding attention. Or maybe a robin. Robins make everyone smile.

Or maybe I'm just feeling bored and need a new challenge. On that basis, I've started going to line dancing classes, in the hope my daydreams will soon be filled with cowboys in tight jeans. Ahem. I'll be in my bunk.

Both Sides Now

I didn't realise it until someone pointed it out to me this week, but I'm in a quite unusual position, and so, I figured I should write about it.  I've sat on most sides of the mainstream childcare fence (with the exception of begging family members to be free childcare), more by accident than design, but however these things work, eh?  So as Joni Mitchell may have put it, "I've looked at childcare from both sides, now."

When Squeaky was but a little Squeak, and I first thought about going back to work, I didn't really know much.  I had seen a couple of day nurseries close by our house, and someone told me that the Family Information Service might be able to give me more info.  Sadly most of what they gave me was hopelessly out of date, so I got in touch with the two nearby nurseries and arranged a look around.  One didn't impress me, being all concrete yard adjoining a coach depot, but the other struck me as a pretty positive place, and we signed an enormous amount of paperwork, and Squeaky headed there quite happily for 18 months or so.  They did wonders for her, socially and educationally, and the staff are still friends now.

But.  I really didn't consider childminders.  I actually thought it would be the more expensive option, you know, that kind of close attention, a personal setting, it just struck me as being cheaper than a nanny or au pair (really never going to be an option), but out of my price range.  And the FIS only gave me contact numbers for 3, none of which were particularly convenient for either home or work.  Effectively the decision was made for me.

When Squeaky started at the part time nursery class in school, her teacher told me she could tell the children that had attended a nursery, rather than a childminder, or stayed at home, by the way they were more confident entering into the school environment, being surrounded by a group of other children their own age, and having that sort of structure to their day.  That was fine with me, the social aspect was something that was important to me, as we don't have any family locally, and so otherwise Squeaky would only have limited contact with other children, so it meant she got a chance she wouldn't have had at home.  The downside being my hours didn't fit too well with school hours, and the nursery that we had used weren't able to offer wrap-around childcare.

My salvation came in the form of a charity-based pre-school provision, linked to my employer.  I wouldn't have known about them if it weren't for working where I do, but their hours fitted in with my work, and their prices were considerably cheaper than the nursery's had been.  They didn't work in the school holidays though, so we kept in contact with the old nursery for a bit of help if push came to shove.  We also looked around at the education department's out-of-school provision, and while Squeaky's school didn't offer anything, another nearby did.  This didn't really work out, as they cancelled days where they didn't have enough bookings, which meant we were stuck at short notice, but they did get us out of a sticky spot.

My hours have gone down again at work (occupational hazard of working for a charity), so the summer holidays were reasonably manageable, and fast forward to now, where Squeaky is in reception class all day.  As I'm working less hours than she's in school, and breakfast club means I can be in the office well before 9, most of the time things are good.  Daddy works shifts, so I try to fit long days around when he's available for the afternoon pick up.  Usually this works out great. But last week, I was booked on a full day's training course in Swansea, and Daddy was on a late shift.  Slight technical hitch.  I sat in the office and worried, especially as I had asked to attend this course.  I continued to worry all the way to school, and stood at the gates still worrying.  Then I looked around.  Yes, there are a few mums I know well enough that I could probably ask a favour of, but I'd feel bad about that.  And then it dawned on me.  Standing next to me was a mum to one of Squeaky's classmates, ChilledGirl.  Who just happens to be a childminder, one who comes with recommendations from 2 completely unconnected people I know.  So rather than panicking, I asked her rates and what I would have to do for a one-off session.

I was shocked.  Honestly, breath taken away shocked to find she charged HALF what the nursery charged.  As she was picking up her own daughter at the same time, the pick up didn't cost anything either, and Squeaky's routine was as normal as could be.  We popped up a few days before to fill in the paperwork (there is always paperwork, it's a PITA but it's for everyone's sake), and Squeaky settled in seconds.  We spoke about it in the days leading up, that she was going to play at ChilledGirl's house, and ChilledGirl's mummy would pick her up from school.

She had an absolute ball.  The personal attention meant she had a tea that suited her, she was able to play in a home and family environment, and experience what it's like to be part of a bigger family (ChilledGirl has an older and a younger brother), and have your own chores and responsibilities - which in turn made me realise we can ask more of Squeaky than we currently do.  She didn't even realise that she was in childcare, which makes my guilt that little bit less.  Talking to other mums, the homely environment (as well as the surprising price) were a major motivator, the fact that their child didn't feel they were being placed in childcare settings was a big seller in some cases.

For me now?  Well, I have to be honest.  I'd be happier for her to spend her days in a smaller setting now that she has the socialisation at school. I don't have that same motivation to send her to a group setting when she doesn't need it so much.  Fortunately with lower and flexible hours I'm able to cover most holidays one way or another, but having looked at things from both viable alternatives, I think I'd rather place her with a childminder for those times when I really need childcare.  And as registered childminders can accept childcare voucher payments, I'm better off again, because we are still able to make the most of the tax benefits of the vouchers.  Obviously, if I had the option, I'd take all the school holidays off, and stay at home myself having adventures, but life doesn't always work that way.  I've looked at childcare from both sides, now.

I should also now apologise for having developed a bit of a photo editing app addiction. But, nah.

Interviews. We love them!

I used to give Interview Skills training quite frequently in a former job, it turned out to be something I really enjoyed, seeing people who you knew were more than capable of doing a job, but didn't come across well in an interview develop the skills to sell themselves.  It's a vital skill in the job market, being able to come across well in an interview, and to give the best of yourself in the hope of scoring that top job.  If you want to learn more about interviewing, and hone your own skills (and I'm too far away for you to bribe me with cake), you could do far worse than to visit the Total Jobs Job Academy and pick up some tips. (My personal number 1 tip is to give yourself that one last look over in the bathroom mirrors before your interview - there's nothing worse than a dodgy looking stain)

There's been a vital vacancy in our house for a little while.  Since the retirement of Upsy Daisy, the important position of Most Beloved Nighttime Cuddly Toy has been filled with a series of temporary replacements, but now it's time to recruit a permanent team member.  So, I've held an interview with one of the likely candidates – Spanish Dolly.

Spanish Dolly takes the hotseat

So, Spanish Dolly, what special skills can you bring to the role of Squeaky’s Cuddly?

Well, I speak Spanish, I can count up to ten and say “Buenos Dias” and “Adios”, so we can talk in Spanish and learn new words.  And I know lots of songs from the Mini Disco.  I’ve got a bunny on my dress because bunnies are soft and cuddly, and most importantly I’m very squishy, so I’m really good for cuddles & cwtches.  That’s a Welsh word.  I know some Welsh words too.

OK.  What would you do if Squeaky had a nightmare?

I’d give her a big hug, and tell her about when I lived in Spain, with my brother and sister, Steve and Ponty.  I can’t close my eyes so I don’t go to sleep, so I’d always be there in case she woke up in the night, and I don’t get tired.

What about daytime then?  Nighttime Cuddly Toys don’t get daytimes off, unfortunately.

I’m good at dancing, I can fly, and I like going to new places.  Did you know that I went to Spain with Squeaky last year to find my friend Daisy (not Upsy Daisy).  I don’t mind getting messy, because I’ve even had a trip in the washing machine before, and I just come out smelling nice. I love having adventures, as long as there aren’t any animals that might try to eat me.  I’m a bit scared of being eaten.

Thanks Spanish Dolly. Have you got any questions for me, or Squeaky?

Yes.  Can I have some milk and a biccie now please?

So, would Spanish Dolly get the job, do you think? The final decision is up to Squeaky, but I think Spanish Dolly's in with a good chance, the other candidates include a hobby horse called Moo-Moo, a large Broccoli called Broccoli, and a slowly deflating balloon from a pizza restaurant.

This is my entry into the Total Jobs & I Am Typecast Interview competition.

Speaking with Confidence

Yes, speaking, not squeaking (that said, I nearly typed squeaking a few times, it's such a habit now!)  In a former life, I used to be a training officer for a local authority, and even in my current job, I'm pretty much the go-to person if we need to give a presentation to groups of service users or other people.  Apparently I've got the knack, and I quite enjoy getting up in front of an audience, sharing some information & helping people go away with a bit more knowledge than they had earlier.  Giving a short presentation is getting more common as part of recruitment now as well, and can make or break a job interview.  I know a lot of people find it difficult to stand up and talk, whether it's giving a best man's speech, a work presentation, or generally sharing information.  So I've put together a handful of hints & tips that work for me, to make sure you give the best you can.

Image courtesy of  jscreationzs, / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Dress For Success

Look the part - smart but comfortable.  You don't want your clothes to distract from your message, and you don't want to be put off by an uncomfortable outfit.  Think about when & where you're speaking - if you're giving a Best Man's speech, then a suit is probably going to be order of the day, but if it's a group of your work colleagues who normally see you in jeans & a faded t-shirt, they're going to wonder why you're dressed for court!

Know Your Stuff

No matter how familiar you are with your subject, always prepare your presentation properly. Don't just turn up & try to busk it - it will show.  Prepare notes, even if they're just bullet points.  They act as a confidence boost, a check to ensure you've covered all the important points, and can help you get back on track if you get sidetracked by an interesting question or anecdote.

The Techy Bit

You don't need a flashy Powerpoint presentation, unless you're told otherwise, but it can be helpful to keep your points in the right order.  If you do use Powerpoint, or something similar, make sure you know how to use it properly.  Keep the slide transitions simple (and silent!), restrict animations unless they're vital, and make sure your text fits the slide.  And PLEASE know how to actually use the slideshow!  I sat in a training session where the trainer had created a Powerpoint show, but didn't know how to use it at all, and I missed half of what she was saying by being so distracted by the poor use of the programme.

Image courtesy of   AscensionDigital, / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Rehearse

Annoy your family, friends, pets.  Stand in front of a mirror & annoy yourself.  What ever works best for you.  But make sure you read your speech through, out loud until you're comfortable with it.  Check for any words that you struggle to say, or accidental tongue twisters, and make sure it all makes sense.  This is a good chance to check your timings as well.  If you've been asked to speak for 15 minutes, and you've only got 5 minutes of content, you might need to add some more.  Or if you've got 40 minutes of speech & a 15 minute slot, some editing might be a good idea!

Slow Down & Breathe!

Let's get scientific. When you're nervous, your body produces adrenaline, your heart rate increased, and your reactions speed up.  For speaking, this means you're likely to speak faster, in an attempt to get it over with.  Don't.  Your audience won't understand you, and they'll either drift off into a daydream, or ask you to repeat so much you're there twice as long.  Instead, take a deep breath.  The oxygen will slow your heart rate, reduce your blood pressure, dilute the adrenaline, and make you feel calmer.

Embrace the Nerves

Feeling nervous is normal & natural (see above).  A little buzz of nervous excitement is a positive thing, it'll make you seem interested and energetic.  If you're too calm, because you've done this a million times before, you will come across as bored of your subject, and people will be less inclined to listen.

Keep to the point

You might have a million things you'd like to say, thousands of amazing anecdotes & insights to share, but be sparing.  People only have a limited attention span, so the longer you talk, the less they'll listen.  Check with the organisers how long they want you to speak for, and aim for that. If you run short, you can always take questions.  If you absolutely HAVE to fill 2 hours, be prepared to get your audience involved, standing up, moving around & joining in, interaction will keep them engaged.  Or give them biscuits!

Give it a go!

One thing I've learned from blogging is that everyone's got a story to tell, and while it can be easier to do so from behind the anonymity of the internet, people can make a career of being after-dinner speakers, motivational speakers, or trainers.  And you don't need to be famous or successful to do so.  I thought after-dinner speaking was all about former sports people & celebrities, until I thought a bit harder.  People like the local Lions Club, Women's Institute and the like, meet regularly and have speakers at almost every meeting (don't believe me? Have a look in your local paper), so whether it's your collection of mediaeval coins found in your own back garden, the trials and tribulations of being a Wolves supporter, or the truth behind being a blogger, everyone's got a story and everyone can have an audience.  Why not give it a try?

Disclosure: This is a sponsored post, for which I have received payment. I have not been told what to write, all opinions and content remain my own.

Debt - a Four Letter Word

When I was approached recently regarding linking up with the Consumer Credit Counselling Service, the UK's leading debt charity, I knew it was something I wanted to write about.  I don't talk about my work on here, but I'm a debt & benefit advisor for a major children's charity.  Yes, you've heard of us, even if you've been living in a cave.  I don't talk about work because, apart from the fact that I try to keep home & work separate, it's important to maintain my clients' confidentiality.

But when CCCS got in touch, and wanted bloggers to help raise awareness of the work they do, and how debt affects families, I thought hard about how I could do this.  I tried to write a "day in the life" type post, but it's really hard to fictionalise, and I wouldn't want people to think they could identify someone.  But instead, I want to tell you a little about the kind of people I work with.

• I work mostly with families with children, because I work for a children's charity.  I also work with young people who have experienced homelessness, or are care leavers. Often they've got themselves into debt because they haven't got the family support networks to fall back on, but want the same choices as everyone else.
• Many of my clients are in relationships. Some are lone parents, but by no means the majority.
• Many of my clients are working.  Often for long hours and low pay, with little stability, which can be what puts them at risk of falling behind with payments.

We're in a hotbed for what MP Stella Creasy called "legal loan sharks", and many of my clients have debts to coin-op tv lenders, high-street hire-purchase companies, doorstep lenders, and payday loan companies, all with extortionate rates of interest.  They can quickly fall into a spiral of debt, as the repayments fast outstrip the loan amount, with no clear repayment date in sight.  (I am not linking to examples of any of the above types of lenders. They do not deserve the benefit of my traffic, and in no way do I encourage you to use them.)

Where clients have just a few debts and they ask me to do so, I negotiate with them and the creditors directly, to establish a repayment plan.  But in many cases, the debts are too large, across too many creditors, and in those cases, I refer clients to a Debt Management agency.  There's a lot of companies that offer this service, you'll see them advertise on tv.  But those companies make a profit out of the debt, which isn't really the point.  There are charities, of which CCCS is one, who offer this service for free.  Depending on the clients' preference, we choose which charity they want to be referred to, and I act as a liaison, introducing clients to charities, making sure everything is going OK, and that the clients are happy with the situation, are keeping within their agreed budget, and making the payments that are then distributed to their creditors.

Really, I wanted to write this post to make my readers aware that there is help available.  And that help can come in at any stage, but the earlier you start, the easier it is to get debts back under control.  Debt can happen to anyone, and no-one will judge you for asking for help.  If anything in this post rings true, please don't hesitate.

CCCS have put together a video, featuring one of their clients, explaining a bit more about what they do, and how they can help.  Take a look.



This is not a sponsored post. I have not been told what to write. While I was approached to write a post, I agreed to do so as this is a subject I feel strongly about. I have not received any compensation or incentive for posting it. Links are provided for your convenience only.

Back on the hamster wheel

I've made a couple of mentions of work, and I kind of planned to write this post last week, only it didn't happen.

Well, I should have gone back to my old job back in October when my maternity leave ran out, but one way or another, I decided it wasn't really for me, and chose not to return.  Spent a lovely few extra months with Squeaky, and trying to find something that I wanted to do, and that met my basic desire for something part-time & close to home.

A few failed interviews, and a lot more failed application forms later, and I found something.  I'm not going to use this as a work blog, that's not what this is about. But so far, the job is everything I wanted it to be, with extra sprinkles.  So I'm a happy blogger.

This is more about Squeaky.  She's in nursery now while I'm at work, or at home with Squeaky Daddy, depending on his work shifts.  So far she's had 3 full days in nursery, and 3 days at home.  And the difference it's made already, I'm struggling to believe.  She's come on so much in terms of independence, eating better for herself, and becoming more of a toddler & less of a baby.  She cries when we drop her off, and again when we pick her up (though she did that at the crèche while I was on the breastfeeding peer support course, so I expected that.) but she's getting on and doing, playing & joining in with the activities the rest of the time like it's the most normal thing in the world for her.  A huge relief.

As for me?  Well, I can drop her off just fine.  But when I come to pick her up, or hold her in my arms, put her to bed, that's when it rips me to pieces.  I realise what I'm missing.  I know it's best for both of us - I need that mental stimulation & time to be "me" again, not just an appendage to Squeaky, and for her it gives her socialisation & contact with other children that as a (so far at least) only child, with no other real family around, she's otherwise missing out on.  It's hard though.  Someone tell me it gets easier?  Please?

Separation Anxiety

Well, after a longer than originally planned maternity leave, mostly because I decided not to go back to my old job, I'll be starting work in a few weeks. Eeeep!  And so Squeaky will be starting nursery. She's got a space in one by us that we're quite happy with, and today she had her first settling in session.

She's been in crèche before, so I had a good idea what to expect of her, she'll cry when I'm in sight/hearing, but settle fine otherwise. The thing that puzzles me though, is why does she howl the place down again when I collect her?  It's not that she doesn't want to leave, as she comes haring over & buries herself in any available limb.  So why the tears, when she's happy to see me?  I don't understand babies!